He looked away. “Yeah, well. Try not to kill it.”
Then Ray started getting tired.
At first, he just moved slower.
He’d sit halfway up the stairs to catch his breath. Forget his keys. Burn dinner twice in a week.
Between her nagging and my begging, he went.
“I’m fine,” he said. “Getting old.”
He was 53.
Mrs. Patel cornered him in the driveway.
“You see a doctor,” she ordered. “Don’t be stupid.”
Between her nagging and my begging, he went.
After the tests, he sat at the kitchen table, papers under his hand.
“Stage four. It’s everywhere.”
“What did they say?” I asked.
He stared past me. “Stage four. It’s everywhere.”
“How long?” I whispered.
He shrugged. “They said numbers. I stopped listening.”
He tried to keep things the same.
He still made my eggs, even when his hand shook. He still brushed my hair, though sometimes he had to stop and lean on the dresser, breathing hard.
Hospice came.
At night, I heard him retching in the bathroom, then running the faucet.
Hospice came.
A nurse named Jamie set up a bed in the living room. Machines hummed. Medication charts went on the fridge.
The night before he died, he told everyone to leave.
“Even me?” Jamie asked.
“You know you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, right?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Even you.”
He shuffled into my room and eased into the chair by my bed.
“Hey, kiddo,” he said.
“Hey,” I said, already crying.
He took my hand. “You know you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, right?”
“That’s kind of sad,” I joked weakly.
“You’re gonna live.”
He huffed a laugh. “Still true.”
“I don’t know what to do without you,” I whispered.
His eyes went shiny. “You’re gonna live. You hear me? You’re gonna live.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know,” he said. “Me too.”
“For things I should’ve told you.”
He opened his mouth like he wanted to say more, then just shook his head.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
“For what?”
“For things I should’ve told you.” He leaned over and kissed my forehead. “Get some sleep, Hannah.”
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